$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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