i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
