dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
