I wish my penis had an off switch
I just pynch a tree in the face
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
