R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
