we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
