my mouth tastes like poor choices
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
