please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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