we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
