i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
