I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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