Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
