No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
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My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
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Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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