I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize