There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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