I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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