I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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