Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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