This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
