Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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