Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Randomize
