Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He did a backflip because drugs
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
