yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
