i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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