so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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