I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
