I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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