I wish I could teleport
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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