Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
