I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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