dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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