Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Randomize
