i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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