all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
