that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
