His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
