I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
