Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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