Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
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Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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