Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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