why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
