East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
