Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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