As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
