Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
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I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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