She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
