people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
