What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
operation have a gay friend backfired
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights