Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.

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  (541): My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick. http://tfl.nu/phsi
  Replies (30) Good night (881) Bad night (6408)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.

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  (765): i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER. http://tfl.nu/2z74
  Replies (25) Good night (6376) Bad night (1056)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?

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  (336): She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous? http://tfl.nu/rvj0
  Replies (119) Good night (1064) Bad night (5374)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you

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  (412): She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you http://tfl.nu/82k6
  Replies (6) Good night (4521) Bad night (1017)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros

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  (914): i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros http://tfl.nu/6mrs
  Replies (8) Good night (5056) Bad night (926)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.

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  (651): I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle. http://tfl.nu/juw9
  Replies (25) Good night (6881) Bad night (1109)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?

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  (913): high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life? http://tfl.nu/lv3r
  Replies (10) Good night (3725) Bad night (998)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up

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  (952): dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up http://tfl.nu/bpgv
  Replies (2) Good night (1957) Bad night (953)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...

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  (504): But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude... http://tfl.nu/qh38
  Replies (8) Good night (1781) Bad night (1113)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.

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  (253): He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy. http://tfl.nu/b383
  Replies (11) Good night (2402) Bad night (629)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know

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  (203): Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know http://tfl.nu/vvh5
  Replies (5) Good night (575) Bad night (1096)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on

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  (360): first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on http://tfl.nu/2woc
  Replies (6) Good night (873) Bad night (407)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?

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  (630): Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo? http://tfl.nu/ndaq
  Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (386)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom

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  (802): I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom http://tfl.nu/99fe
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (341)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay

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  (302): I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay http://tfl.nu/8522
  Replies (5) Good night (447) Bad night (798)

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