Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.

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  (856): i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again. http://tfl.nu/ts1b
  Replies (17) Good night (619) Bad night (2355)
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  (585): View more from New York

  This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....

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  (585): This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time..... http://tfl.nu/b6dm
  Replies (13) Good night (3633) Bad night (687)
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  (818): View more from California

  I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.

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  (818): I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO. http://tfl.nu/pbw8
  Replies (15) Good night (4119) Bad night (752)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Either way I should probably pregame on the plane

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  (248): Either way I should probably pregame on the plane http://tfl.nu/xs77
  Replies (10) Good night (5142) Bad night (653)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  You could give me a blowjob later? :)

  (1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I meant do something romantic..

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Blowjob In the moonlight?

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  (321): You could give me a blowjob later? :) (1-321): I meant do something romantic.. (321): Blowjob In the moonlight? http://tfl.nu/na1u
  Replies (13) Good night (6226) Bad night (1410)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.

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  (902): FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk. http://tfl.nu/vuiq
  Replies (10) Good night (2894) Bad night (1267)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.

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  (828): YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN. http://tfl.nu/nkzr
  Replies (2) Good night (1861) Bad night (1104)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.

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  (856): two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets. http://tfl.nu/gsqf
  Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (1708)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness

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  (917): he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness http://tfl.nu/2dob
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (835)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.

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  (251): Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now. http://tfl.nu/uhhh
  Replies (7) Good night (937) Bad night (2920)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.

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  (516): The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety. http://tfl.nu/31qs
  Replies (3) Good night (1647) Bad night (866)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.

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  (613): hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday. http://tfl.nu/nmap
  Replies (2) Good night (1006) Bad night (406)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward

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  (647): Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward http://tfl.nu/5pol
  Replies (7) Good night (1334) Bad night (576)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  My breasts were aching with rage.

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  (502): My breasts were aching with rage. http://tfl.nu/o5ig
  Replies (4) Good night (424) Bad night (250)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now

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  (515): yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now http://tfl.nu/r5r9
  Replies (6) Good night (799) Bad night (131)

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