Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.

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(951): yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye. http://tfl.nu/mzng

Replies (63) Good night (1715) Bad night (10287)
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(703): View more from Virginia

how do you have sooo much energy?

(571): View more from Virginia

billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week

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(703): how do you have sooo much energy? (571): billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week http://tfl.nu/czgq

Replies (16) Good night (4578) Bad night (826)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.

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(814): I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester. http://tfl.nu/p4o8

Replies (29) Good night (4849) Bad night (788)
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(903): View more from Texas

Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

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(903): Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning. http://tfl.nu/i0lg

Replies (6) Good night (3169) Bad night (1144)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.

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(870): No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you. http://tfl.nu/b7m8

Replies (6) Good night (1870) Bad night (753)
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(264): View more from Anguilla

I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.

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(264): I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/tyhu

Replies (9) Good night (2080) Bad night (837)
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(801): View more from Utah

walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.

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(801): walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home. http://tfl.nu/tt4s

Replies (7) Good night (3341) Bad night (730)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?

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(540): I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present? http://tfl.nu/y1uu

Replies (22) Good night (1916) Bad night (785)
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(831): View more from California

You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!

(408): View more from California

For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?

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(831): You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!! (408): For my parents' annivery card? How high are you? http://tfl.nu/qppn

Replies (2) Good night (1728) Bad night (626)
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(206): View more from Washington

After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.

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(206): After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard. http://tfl.nu/g18p

Replies (1) Good night (625) Bad night (660)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.

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(920): I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it. http://tfl.nu/sqkc

Replies (2) Good night (867) Bad night (310)
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(512): View more from Texas

Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe

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(512): Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe http://tfl.nu/yms0

Replies (7) Good night (373) Bad night (777)
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(713): View more from Texas

I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY

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(713): I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY http://tfl.nu/5ce4

Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (313)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!

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(317): Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard! http://tfl.nu/ozlx

Replies (0) Good night (666) Bad night (312)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?

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(519): Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night? http://tfl.nu/rvm4

Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (382)

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