I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm too high and old for this...