Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.

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(513): Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies. http://tfl.nu/w2rz

Replies (33) Good night (841) Bad night (3010)
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(941): View more from Florida

I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message

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(941): I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message http://tfl.nu/pqsm

Replies (9) Good night (5796) Bad night (1188)
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(630): View more from Illinois

i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.

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(630): i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag. http://tfl.nu/wsec

Replies (14) Good night (2847) Bad night (817)
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(760): View more from California

i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous

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(760): i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous http://tfl.nu/sccn

Replies (25) Good night (793) Bad night (5330)
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(850): View more from Florida

I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok

(850): View more from Florida

They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good

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(850): I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok (850): They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good http://tfl.nu/qtm7

Replies (10) Good night (6733) Bad night (1992)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?

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(+44): Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/0o8e

Replies (7) Good night (4176) Bad night (828)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.

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(502): I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can. http://tfl.nu/7z31

Replies (4) Good night (1801) Bad night (991)
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(269): View more from Michigan

he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing

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(269): he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing http://tfl.nu/dbp3

Replies (6) Good night (1421) Bad night (2634)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"

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(609): I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies... (1-609): You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award" http://tfl.nu/ecqm

Replies (3) Good night (988) Bad night (451)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me

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(412): I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me http://tfl.nu/nb8z

Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (483)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back

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(860): Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back http://tfl.nu/64sk

Replies (7) Good night (462) Bad night (1081)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.

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(312): Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it. http://tfl.nu/okpd

Replies (5) Good night (654) Bad night (427)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.

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(419): I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck. http://tfl.nu/7r7g

Replies (3) Good night (390) Bad night (1022)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Why is there puke in my guitar?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Because you puked in your guitar.

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(203): Why is there puke in my guitar? (860): Because you puked in your guitar. http://tfl.nu/mgzl

Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (854)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.

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(419): Oh and yeah that does count as public urination. http://tfl.nu/7asx

Replies (0) Good night (407) Bad night (401)

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