Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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