The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize