I bet he comes in French.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
