My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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