I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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