That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
