Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
