You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
