This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
