If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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