Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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