Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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