at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
