I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
